Togetherness.

As soon as I walked into the Expo Center and my eyes saw the group of ladies, my eyes started to sting- is something in my eye? Oh wait I remember this... Girl-power-fueled emotion. My breath got caught somewhere between my lungs and mouth. What the heck is happening to me? I don't cry at times like this, do I? Well, maybe I do... I've never had a time like this. My heart feels like it wants to jump out of my chest and go have a huglaughcryfest with all the other hearts in the room. Why do I feel like I am instantly soul sisters with dozens of women I haven't even met yet? Calm down or you'll start freaking out these poor women....


In all seriousness, this day was simply beautiful. Although it was non-denominational and not very religious, it was very spiritual. I felt the Spirit very strongly there and many times it spoke to my heart, testifying of truth I was learning.

My biggest takeaways:
1. Women are seriously amazing. I met several with very heartbreaking stories. And yet, they let me know and feel that even though their stories might be *more heartbreaking than mine*, that does not take away from the pain I feel and what trauma I have experienced. It does not take anything away from my story. Sometimes that sneaky little voice still got in my head to say, "Jeez Louise!, he had an affair and you are still with him?! I have no right even being in the same room as you! You are SO much stronger than me!" but it didn't take long for the LOVE in the room to chase those thoughts away. I can't remember a time when I've felt so validated, loved, understood, and the empathy was just... pure.

2. Trauma. Holy moly have I been through a traumatizing experience. No wonder I'm still feeling so hurt even though Mr. Smith is doing so great. Of course it's been hard for me *get over it and move on.*  I still have issues for a very good reason! I really needed to hear all that. I learned about some great resources to help me go back and really deal with what I've been through. I have jammed all my issues into a closet, locked the door and walked away expecting them to disappear with time. But I need the space in that closet so I've got to deal with my baggage, clean it out, organize it, throw out the crap, create a beautiful space in place of a neglected, dirty, painful place that I am ashamed of.

4. Intimacy. Again-Trauma. No wonder I haven't made any close friends my entire marriage! No wonder I don't always want Mr. Smith all over me! I have a lot to deal with and then work on. Luckily I also learned about

5.Vulnerability
Listening to 1 Ted Talk a long time ago does not a vulnerable person make. Brene Brown, I'm about to become your shadow. I'm pretty sure this trait will help me in every area of my thinking and my life. I'm so excited to get in up to my elbows studying this.

I want to write a novel about each moment of the day but.. My precious kiddos are waking up and I'm being a kick-A momma today.
To be continued.